• Home
  • Non-Fiction
  • Fiction
  • Raves and Reviews
  • About me
  • Contact Form
  • Blog
  • Blog






There are seven days in the week
and "someday" ain't one of 'em
- anon

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

12/15/2019

4 Comments

 
Thank heavens for those who mangle the English language. The likes of the Reverend William Archibald Spooner and Richard Sheridan’s Mrs Malaprop bring to the language a sparkle and a sense of humour that, if it doesn’t drive you to distraction, invigorates and amuses.
Over the years, I have created a couple of characters whose personalities are molded by their, shall we say, unique approach to the English language.

In my book The Indigo Kid, Stella Goodstar runs the Sixty-Nine Club, a porn-slash-spiritual store (she didn’t know which end to cater for, so she combines the two). Stella has decided to dispense with posters in her store as someone has promised to ‘paint a nice Muriel on the wall’ for her. And discussing a charismatic evangelist: “That Peter Shepherd...A real fox in the penthouse, that one.”
In Rusty and Slasher and the Circus from Hell the priest, Father Shamus Appelbaum, follows in the splendid footsteps of Rev Spooner by urging his congregation to ‘hollow their fart’. Slasher is not averse to mangling the language either. “Maybe that’s because wriggle mortis had set in.” Slasher gave a theatrical shudder. “Now I know why they call them stiffs. He was like a cardboard box with legs.”
Creating such characters is fun. And that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? This writing lark. Having fun. Creating characters you like, that are maybe a little spark of your own inner, hidden, self. Characters you wouldn’t mind having a cuppa with. (And, yes, I do like Nana Naills – she is naughty and not-so-nice and she needs adult diapers before going on a heist.)

Comparisons are odorous, I know. I will never write a spy novel, like John le Carré, about a Soviet agent who defecated to the West. I will never write a classic like Lame is Rob by Victor Hugo or Don Coyote by Servants. I may never win the Pullet Surprise with my novels but, boy, I’ve had fun.


(With apologies and humble acknowledgements to Des McHale who wrote A Decapitated Coffee, Please)




4 Comments
Travis Madden link
10/18/2022 01:13:11 am

College that more sit whom great. Black seem seven three while any easy.

Reply
Dr. kold_kadavr_flatliner, MD link
5/11/2024 12:43:21 pm

HeeHee shure do. Actually, the English
language is puh-retty amazing, dear -
dontcha wanna lottsa gobbsa full-tilt,
full-throttle-velocity, WooHoo-Xtra-GnarlyNRG, reality-show-addiction for
the impossible length-and-breadth of
eternity in our deliciousNutritious,
luxurious, eXpletiveXpress?? HeeHee
Should've sed smthn, girl gorgeous:

Meet me in Seventh Heaven,
gorgeous girly-withe-curly -
d’B.O.M.Ms just the start of
the ⁹°⁹°⁹ exponential pow!er
without the ER, miss dollface:
● rawwdude.blogspot.com ●
You’re everything to me -
nthn can compare to you!
You’re everything to God!!!
● NOPEcantELOPE.blogspot.com ●
Cya soon,
incredible,
indelible
wildflower…

Reply
Dr. kold_kadavr_flatliner, MD link
5/11/2024 12:51:16 pm

yooNeye can certainly have
MOE! adjectives in 7thHeaven,
miss girly, • if •ya wannum...
---> I love you. I'm praying4u2.
be@peace... not pieces.

Reply
Granny Escorts Savannah link
3/4/2025 04:19:37 am

I love how creative language can be when it's used playfully.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    July 2025
    June 2025
    May 2025
    December 2024
    November 2024
    February 2020
    December 2019

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • Non-Fiction
  • Fiction
  • Raves and Reviews
  • About me
  • Contact Form
  • Blog
  • Blog